Just popping to say hi

From: GreyCloud (cumuluss_at_mist.com)
Date: 12/11/03 

Date: Wed, 10 Dec 2003 20:26:29 -0800 (PST)

A day in the life of a troll

5:00am: Beat off again.

5:01am: Go back to sleep

7:05am: Alarm rings. Hit snooze.

7:10am: Alarm rings again. Hit snooze again.

7:15am: Alarm rings again. Hit snooze again.

7:20am: Alarm rings again. Hit snooze again.

7:25am: Alarm rings again. Hit snooze again.

7:30am: Alarm rings again. Hit snooze again.

9:00am: Wake up to realize alarm was shut off instead of snooze. Now
I know that I am late for work.

9:05am: Sex with my sister. hey she was my first.
Actually, she has been my only. No one else will touch me (mental note to
self - take more than one bath every two weeks).

9:15am: Dress fast, put on paper hat to report to Burger King.

9:20am: get to work and bitched at all day by 17 year old kid for a
boss.

5:00pm: Get home. Burp burger, thinking of the shambles that I
call my life.

5:10pm:My Mom comes up and slaps me. Hard too. It
hurt and I cried out, "Damn it ....what the hell is your problem. I didn't
go to sleep til 3am, I need to get some sleep now" She reminds me that I am
babysitting my retarded sister (Retardness runs in our family. Thank goodness it didn't
skip me). Oh crap. I had some serious plans. Newsgroup plans. Damn it.

5:15pm: Get on line. Go through messages from comp.os.linux.advocacy I am
trolling. Find messages in response to my prior posts.

5:20pm: Giggle as I think about the other person being all pissed
off.

5:21pm: Suddenly I remember the mail and see if the PKB's or
IKYABWAI's I ordered came in.

5:22pm: Seeing they did not, I do the best I can, and post with my four word vocabulary to demolish them.
After all, people are still astonished and bow to my superior intelligence when I
yell "Sweaty Balmer, Billy-***-Crust, wintroll, and guffaw!!!", it really has them beat, now everyone
is emailing me asking me to *** off, they must be jealous of my superior vocabulary.

5:23pm: I pat yourself on the back for causing mental anguish all
over the world with my posts.

5:24pm: I see someone went and dared to try to top me by being
clever so I trash their ability and say they are not funny.

5:25pm: I work on a post that is a tirade of multiple responses.

6:30pm: I hit the post button patting myself on the back for
being so clever.

7:00pm: Someone accuses me of not having a girlfriend. I post a
pic snagged from alt.pics.girlfriend and claim she is mine.

7:10pm: I check messages on alt.sex.bestiality for real
stimulation.

7:20pm: I check messages on your server and respond to 210
accusations of net abuse by saying I were only joking.

8:00pm: What's up with all these people laughing at me when I say that I use Solaris?
That sparked laughter all over the group, someone said that I don't have enough brain
cells to run solaris, I told him hey I can use my dad's computer, and it has solaris installed, so who
are you calling stupid?

9:00pm: I go into all the groups and respond to everyone I
suspect of filing the reports of net abuse with insults.

9:10pm: I loose your connection in the middle of posting.
Infuriated, I call my ISP and complain for an hour, getting restored
service by saying the abuse was due to my "son" and after
I promise to keep him off the computer from now on as I only
use it for work.

10:20pm: I leave more posts to people you suspect of turning in
net abuse reports.

10:30pm: Someone leaves a message saying what I said upset them a
lot. I laugh and leave an even worse post knowing they will
cry when they read it.

10:31pm: A guy who really pisses me off left a superior post to
mine so I call him a ***.

10:40pm: I get a response asking why I did not respond with
something relevant to the conversation so I check his
history and post a *** response to everything he has ever
posted including his original in alt.test.

1:00am: I notice the time and realize I need to get some sleep.

1:15am: A guy in a tech group complains that I am disrupting to the
group and looses his cool, calls me name so I turn in an abuse
report on him.

2:00am: I troll the group alt.troll but get out fast when I
realize I am outclassed.

2:30: Saw my sister laying there and decided to roll her over in
her sleep and do her. Couldn't get it up. Same thing happened to me all damn
day. I know I said I did her and got her to give me a bj, but I lied. I
couldn't get it up then either. I almost got it up when Dad did me in the
ass, but couldn't quite muster a full fledged 4 inch woody. Oh well, maybe
next time.

3:00am: I notice the time and realize I need to get some sleep.

3:20am: I troll at.fan.country.music but leave because you
realize I am outclassed again.

3:30am: I go back and read all that I posted and giggle over
causing so much mental anguish with my hard work, pat myself on
the back for a job well done.

3:45am: One more blowjob from my sister. I would give her head
more often if she would only clean her skankyness out every once and awhile.

4:00am: I finally shut down the computer and collapse into bed
with print out of the picture from alt.pics.girlfriend and beat off.

4:01am: I fall asleep.

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