Re: HELP **TOP POSTINGS ARE IGNORED**

From: Jeff Liebermann (jeffl_at_comix.santa-cruz.ca.us)
Date: 05/13/03 

Date: Tue, 13 May 2003 01:35:56 GMT

On Mon, 12 May 2003 11:30:12 +0000 (UTC), Ian Wilson
<scobloke2@infotop.co.uk> wrote:

>You forgot:
>0. Are plain argumentative or nit-picking.

I never forget, argue, nit-pick, or act humble.

>> 1. Fail to define the problem they are trying to solve or bury the
>> problem in rhetoric.
>Surely that should be 1 a) and 1 b)?

It's a common problem. Much of the "support" email I receive offers a
dramatization of how they achieved their state of confusion. It kinda
reminds me of some of the padding I did in college, where quantity of
words was a good substitute for quality. Some resemble the next great
American novel, complete with the cast of characters that also offered
advice. With suitable orchestration and lyrics, the result might be
the first (and last) tech support opera.

What's significant is what is missing from the mini-novel. Usually,
there's no clue as to the nature of the original problem. This is
usually lost and forgotten in a desperate effort to unsnarl some
obscure feature or function. Error messages are rarely quoted exactly
when a paraphrased version is sure to be ambiguous. If the command
line is involved, few bother to quote the exact incantation used. Why
bother listing patches when "all patches installed" is easier to
write. I could complain forever.

Basically, obscuring the problem and excessive rhetoric are
indistinguishable. The more words, the less information is supplied.

>> 2. The entire posting is on one long line.
>Dang, can't bear to make my newsreader do that.

It's the default for Outlook Express. The policy for Microsloth HTML
is to make the page look exactly like the web designer intended.
Never mind portability and platform independence. It's desktop
publishing for the interknot. However, for email and usenet news, MS
demands that the reader perform all the necessary formatting.

>> 3. Go past column 75 resulting in a rather unreadable quoted reply.
>I find that newsreaders keep inserting greater-than signs until this
>happens after about 3 levels of reply.

Anything past 3 levels of replies is designated as a flame war and
automatically ignored by my news reader. I just hate criticism and
find it easier to ignore massive argumentation. Besides, if it's that
bad, I'm usually wrong and don't wanna admit it. The mangled
formatting hides my retractions and apologies quite nicely.

>> 4. Use unusual quote marks that my news reader doesn't understand.
>But, apparently, differing opening and closing quote marks are
>typographically correct. Dilemma?

Not really. I suspect the problem is that too many programmers are
involved in usenet. Ever notice the wide variations in comment
symbols used by programmers in various languages? Obviously, this is
a form a creative expression. Not content to stop at obfuscating the
manifold programming languages, these programmers continue the
practice of creative quote symbols in usenet news. I can't really
fault them for doing this as it seems to be habitual, epidemic, and
often entertaining.

>> 5. Has more information in the signature than in the message. Also
>> known as one-liners.
>I'm grateful for any answer from Jeff & co, even if it is less than four
>lines.

It's a bit like opinions. I can read the various product review web
piles and get large numbers of opinions on diverse products and
services. However, the greater majority are just that, an opinion.
Fortunately, an increasing number of people have seen fit to actually
substantiate their opinions with details and reproduceable
experiences. That's kinda difficult to do on one line.

>> 6. Post massive quantities of unformatted diagnostic output that
>> would take hours to decode.
>Anyone who has had their wrists slapped for item 1 above inevitably does
> 6 the next time. Catch 22?

Different Catch-22. Excessive editing of diagnostic output is not a
good idea. Similarly, excessive quotation of the same output is
tedious and difficult to read. If they knew which part of the
diagnostic output was important, then they probably wouldn't be asking
the question.

>> 7. Fail to mention the products name and version or the exact
>> hardware product name.
>I blame SCO for having such strange product version numbers.

It's a security feature. If an attacker knew the exact product name
and version, they could use pre-scripted exploits to attack the
system. By intentionally making it difficult to obtain version
information, such attacks are more difficult to precipitate. I
actually had this explanation offered as a reason for not disclosing
the version on the /etc/issue line.

>> 8. Mis-spell my name.
>I read ahead.

Just add my name to your spelling chequer. Don't worry about
mis-spelling my name and try to ignore the apocalyptic fury of my
emailed replies.

>> 9. Fail to offer undying gratitude for answering the question.
>I find it's better to just imagine that people are grateful. Isn't Point
>9 hard to avaluate at the time you type the answer? I hereby promise to
>offer gratitude for answers to any questions I make in future. Please
>make a note.

I have a limited imagination and prefer something more tangible. Note
that I said "undying" gratitude. That means self-imolation and other
forms of excessive self protest are not necessary. Just send me your
bank account.

>> 10. Use Bablefish to translate into English.
>How can you tell? Anyway, I prefer English English to American English.
>Although Indian English is often superior (I suspect they learn it from
>schoolteachers instead of from the Simpsons and the Teletubbies as we do
>in the UK).

Well, I have successfully made a total fool of myself by insulting
someones question only to find out that English is not their native
tongue. One has to be careful with this one. However, I've found
that anyone involved in a technical profession in a foreign country
always has an English speaking person available to clean up the
question. I often get an incoherent question. I ask for a better
translation and find the 2nd message to be in perfect English.
Bablefish does badly with technical English and is not worth the
effort.

>Doh!

Gone for my ritual trudge (walk) along the river. I don't get much
exercise pounding on plastic. 

-- 
# Jeff Liebermann   150 Felker St #D Santa Cruz CA 95060
# 831.336.2558 voice    http://www.LearnByDestroying.com
#                           jeffl@comix.santa-cruz.ca.us
# 831.421.6491 digital_pager  jeffl@cruzio.com     AE6KS

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